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When Should you Interfere?

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Can a friendship withstand meddling in certain situations? Read on for tips on when you should speak up and what you should say...

Your girlfriend has recently become the most talked about girl in the neighbourhood; her partner could be straying or her kids might be totally out-of-control. Should you interfere or is the silent road a better option? Would your friendship be able to withstand the interference? We pick four such classic scenarios and tell you what would be the right way to act in each case.


You just happen to run into your friend's husband in a restaurant. You would not think much of this if you hadn't seen who he was with. But once you spotted the stunning woman he was dining with, somehow you didn't quite think that this was a business meeting. But maybe you're just imagining things. It could be completely innocent. But you hurry out from there without ordering anything. Are you obliged to mention this to your friend? After all, there is no smoke without fire.

What to do:

You have no clue who this woman is. In fact, it doesn't have to be a business meeting. Maybe he was just having dinner with an old friend or even a relative. The right move would have been to sit down at a table and order something. Obviously you were going there to eat, so why leave just because you spotted him. It's a public place and he must have been prepared to run into people he knew. You could have even gone up and said hello. That way, he would have had to introduce you to her and there would be no need for this confusion. Now don't cause trouble and mention this to your friend unless you're pretty sure that there was absolutely nothing innocent about this dinner. Or else you are putting at risk both her marriage and your friendship. Even if it later turns out that he was having an affair, make sure you are there as a support system for your friend.


Two of your closest pals have had a falling out with each other. You have tried your hardest to stay neutral till it blows over. But this does not seem to be happening any time soon. And what's worse, each friend is trying her hardest to enlist you as an ally. But they have also confided that they want to work it out but don't want to make the first move. Should you play the mediator or stay out of it?

What to do:

Go right ahead and meddle in this case. But don't try to solve the problems. All you should do is tell both of them individually that the other too wants to patch things up. You could probably suggest meeting up for coffee which will give them a chance to really discuss their issues and work towards solving them. But let them take it from there. You continue to be neutral and let each friend know that you are not taking sides, but you want to see them work things out.

Continued ............ When Should You Interfere Part-2

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