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No Darling Not Tonight

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No darling, Not tonight...

Is this what your partner says each time you initiate sex? Read on to find out how you can get your lover into the mood.

 In a relationship, it often happens that while one partner is interested in sexual activity, the other loses interest. A low sexual desire is considered one the most prevalent problems among women, but recent studies show that men too face the same. This can be a rather sensitive topic for couples to deal with as it can affect the self-esteem of both partners.

A lack of sexual interest on the part of your partner does not necessarily mean that his/her feelings have changed for you. But if you are concerned about your partner's lack of desire, pay attention to your relationship. Take out some alone time when both of you can re-connect as a couple. Don't stress out your partner; instead try to tune into what he/she might be feeling.

When couples are in a loving and caring relationship low sexual desire may cause one partner to repeatedly feel hurt or rejected, culminating in feelings of resentment. Sex can either bring a couple closer or cause a problem that gradually drives them apart. If you feel you have reached a dead-end and your partner is considerably less interested in sex, then consider going for counseling before it ruins your relationship. Remember low libido is a natural part of a relationship cycle; just make sure it isn't a permanent problem.


Feed your lover finger-foods and make him/her feel like royalty. Try aphrodisiac foods like strawberries, chocolates and oysters.

While cuddling your partner, turn on the heat by giving him/her a sensual back and neck rub.

Make an audio-CD of your lover's favourite romantic tunes. Anything that will help re-kindle the romance.

Leave affectionate, naughty notes for your lover in parts of the house you know he/she will find them. Write a love letter. Just a couple of lines to tell your partner how you feel.

Send text messages during the day to let your lover know that he/she is on your mind.

Make everyday activities special. When having dinner , light some candles and put on some soft music.

Offer to do a favour for your partner or get him/her a small surprise gift.

Do something crazy together—Go for an impromptu weekend trip or spend the day at an amusement park.

Take a sensual bath together. Use aromatic bathing oils and bubbles.

Whip up a meal for your lover and serve it to him/her in bed.

Compliment your mate from time to time. Make sure he/she knows that you notice the small details.

When your lover helps you with an errand, reward him/her with kisses.

Surprise your partner by going to his/her office with a bouquet of flowers or take him/her out on a lunch date.

Take a walk down the beach together in the evening. Then suddenly turn towards your partner to give them a passionate kiss.

Give him/her love coupons that can be redeemed anytime . Coupons for a free back-rub , a sensual bath, candle-lit dinner etc.

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